Confidence

You may be surprised to learn that, for someone with an ego like mine, I really struggle with self-confidence. I've been thinking about this a lot over the past year, what with changing careers and countries, and the challenges that come with both transitions. I think I'm getting closer to understanding why I have this underlying self-doubt, but let's leave that for post-Ramadhan when we're not so sleep deprived!

One of the problems of not having enough confidence, at least for me, is that I always panic that I'm never going to learn the thing at hand. As in, I think I should just be amazing at something I've just picked up. And that usually overwhelms and stresses me, and then makes me less likely to learn (stress = things not sticking in your brain, it's scientific). And I compare myself to others who have mastered said thing and convince myself that the reason they're amazing at it is because they are geniuses and I'm not. Which, maybe 1% of the time is right, but the other 99% of the time, that person would have worked hard to get to where they are now, and so my comparison is irrational and absolutely counter-productive.

And many people struggle with believing in their abilities. Friends of mine, who are successful in life, tell me that they lack confidence, especially in the work place. And this doubt stops them from speaking out, or causes them to back down from ideas they bring to the table. It's crazy. They have obviously reached the positions they're in by way of experience and time, yet they are unsure of their capabilities.

I've noticed that I do things better, quicker and with less worry when I am confident that I can handle the matter at hand. So I'm taking a conscious decision that, when I am in a situation that I am terrified in, instead of panic, to just take a step back, remind myself how many incredible accomplishments I have and how, in a lot of them, it just took time and perseverance. 

It's not that easy, reminding yourself this. Especially since when you are panicking that you aren't up to the task, the last thing your mind has the capacity to do is insist that it's amazing! Vicious cycle! But I'm determined to change my mindset, and not get angry during those times that I'm not able to believe in myself. 

I'll let you know how it's working out, and do feel free to share your thoughts on this and/or post some suggestions!

Have a great week!

Sx